"I got kicked outta Bourbon cause I was eating a freaking pizza in there and apparently you can’t do that…"

Schrockingerite

"It’s how we do what we do that confers meaning on what we’ve done"

Richard Serra

"STEVE NASH IS A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY. LONG MAY HE LIVE… GIVING YOUNG GRLZ hope that they may be BEAUTIFUL too some day"

Schrockingerite texts me during the LAKER game

"ugh im gonna follow them and kill them or maybe write a very angry note!"

D’s possible solutions to girls talking in the library

"How do you get over him? You coat yourself in the saliva of other men… that always worked for me."

Dan Savage

"Probably a crab would be filled with a sense of personal outrage if it could hear us class it without ado or apology as a crustacean, and thus dispose of it. ‘I am no such thing,’ it would say; ‘I am myself, myself alone.’"

William James

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."

William James

"Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be."

Kurt Vonnegut

"You’ll eat hamburgers year after year and live in dusty, vermin-infested apartments and hotels, but every morning you’ll see the mighty sun, the eternal blue of the sky, and the streets will be full of sleek women you never will possess, and the hot semi-tropical nights will reek of romance you’ll never have, but you’ll still be in paradise, boys, in the land of sunshine."

Ask the Dust by John Fante

"Let’s drink to California, way out by the sea,
Where a woman’s ass, and a whiskey glass,
Made a horse’s ass of me"

anonymous toast

"Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication."

Leonardo da Vinci

"At the worst I accepted Hollywood with the resignation of a ghost assigned to a haunted house. I knew what you were supposed to think about it but I was obstinately unhorrified."

Cecelia, The Love of the Last Tycoon by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"In this life that we call home
The years go fast and the days go so slow"

Modest Mouse - “Heart Cooks Brain”

"Women love diamonds, even the super left-wing chicks who saw Blood Diamond and cried. When they get one, they’re like ‘Yea! Give me more blood diamonds. Make them extra bloody.’"

Aziz Ansari on Parks and Recreation